We Can Speak English

We’re not keeping the "I Love Farang" sign up. No way. Will thinks cute and cheerful is the way forward with this site. I personally think it’s a real turn-off. Too corny. Anything with a big red love-heart is just plain soppy. And it doesn’t do anything for the hardened ex-pat image I was hoping to portray here. Although I do like the little statement afterwards - "Welcome foreigners".
Where I come from in the north of England you just couldn’t get away with that. There’d be uproar if I called somebody of a different race, "foreigner". England - and I guess the west in general - has become so multi-racial and politically correct, Thailand’s somewhat xenophobic nature at times is a breath of fresh air. In England I would be branded a bigot if I were to assume that somebody who looks different to me wasn’t born in my own country. I know a cartoonist who was asked by a Pakistani to do a picture of him. He agreed, and did a quick pencil drawing of him. When he showed him the picture the fella accused of him being racist because he’d shaded his face in.
Nuts!
But anyway, you’ll hear more of my moaning later.
As I was saying - welcome foreigners. And yes, we can speak English, so you’re all welcome to drop by anytime, leave comments, submit stories, enter the photo competition. Our hope is that this site will be yours as much as ours. It’s just a place to come and have a laugh and share a few thoughts.
Rather than go over my life story at this point and how I came to reside in The Land of Smiles, I will just say that myself and the other fat bastard came here together in the late nineties, but have since gone our separate ways. It was an amicable split. Will couldn’t take the pace of Pattaya and retreated to the northern mountains.
Maybe if I find the right lady I will too. I’ve had a few offers of retiring to Isaan. I’ve even been to meet a few families of girlfriends I had out that way - always nice folks, very polite and smiley. But after a few days of living in squalor I decided I didn’t want to adopt them all. It was a nice offer - you know, kick back, have everything done for me. I just have to pay off papa’s gambling debts, pay grandmas medical fees, new fridge-freezer, motorcyke, pick-up etc.
So I’m single for now. I think this past six month period has been my longest stretch of being a bachelor for over thirty years, and it’s wonderful how stress-free my life seems these days.
With all this free time I've had I managed to tracked down Keith Summers last week. I met with him at his hideaway on a small island off the coast of Myanmar. He was rather reluctant to give an interview, but after convincing him that I wasn’t the Tick Tock poster from Mangosauce he agreed to talk.
We hope to be interviewing a whole host of Thailand celebrities. Ousted PM, Thaksin Shinawatra, won’t answer my emails at the moment, but I’m still hopeful he’ll come around.
The Stickman interview was a major coup for us, one we hope will bring a lot of visitors to the site. Though I was a little disappointed he hasn’t entered our photo competition. I guess 50,000 Kip is small change for big fish like Stickman.
We''ll be updating the site with new content all the time, so do drop by again. We'll add a form later so you can leave comments. Or just abuse.
Anyway, from myself and Will, thanks for dropping by. Happy New Year